Virus, part II

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost

I was sidetracked by so many things which were beyond my control. I felt I had to vent lest I be consumed by so many negative thoughts running through my head. If you had your dear friends trying vainly not to break down in front of you, it would require superhuman efforts to appease them and say that everything would soon blow over. The better part of me said that I should just shut up. I would not offer much help as I am facing the same issue anyway.

Looks like this nasty virus is rearing its ugly head at me all over again.

I don’t exactly know how to call it. This recurring virus. I will just try my best to describe my condition in detail.

Prognosis: I want to run away again.

History: Before anything else, let me just say that I refuse to admit I was looking through rose-colored glasses when I plunged head-on into this life-changing move. Why, you ask?

1. I knew what I was looking forward to. Been there, done that. 2. Every member of my dearest family never objected to whatever would make me happy. 3. I was sure - and I swear my interviewer turned employer was even surer - it could not get any worse than my previous employments. 4. There were the endless rounds of dinner and coffee with friends of various conviction/persuasion/what-have-you who were one in saying that this opportunity was golden from all angles. What could be better than having a financially rewarding job, right? 5. I thought this break was rather fateful. I was trying mightily to make sense of what was happening between me and some friend at an apparently breakneck speed. I thought this opportunity provided both of us the chance to find out what we really were to each other. (I might have a lot of explaining to do to my dear friends about the last one. Oh well.) There. All accounted for. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

It has been two months now and all I can manage to say is this: reality does shake things up quite a bit. She’s like an uninvited guest that refuses to go away, sneaking in and settling down quickly to rearrange my furniture, then my room and, finally, everything else in plain sight. She is very much into it I should say. If not for some familiar objects, I can certainly say that I am hopelessly lost. In my own home at that. After a series of shock waves, I got used her. I have totally stopped complaining. And therein lies my dilemma. I can’t put my finger on it but I know I am kinda unwell. Each time she leaves, I find myself tired, dazed and often confused.

Symptoms: 1. Initially, I have a lot of good stuff to say about my new job….then, after some time…2. I feel like dragging my feet to work. 3. I have fits of grouchiness. 3. I lose weight notwithstanding my relatively healthy appetite for food (read: chocolates, junk food, etc). 4. I can not focus properly on whatever tasks are at hand. 5. I don’t sleep well. 6. I browse jobstreet and/or jobsdb a lot. 7. I gripe about work to my friends (bless them for bearing with me!). 8. My friends actually find me some good job matches. 9. Most of the time, I get a new job offer.

Yes, it’s my job that’s my reality. I just hope her next visit will be final and one that when she leaves, I am truly happy. (That reminds me of something. Should I be changing my name?)

Prescription: ??????????