i never imagined 9/11 would have an entirely new meaning other than it being a red-letter day (no pun intended) to the rest of the world, marking one of the most vicious terrorist attacks in recent memory.
on 9/11/2004, while the rest of the world bowed their heads in prayer to commemorate the tragic event, i bowed my head in prayer. period. indeed, i was on a totally different plane than the rest of humanity. in more ways than one.
i flew out of the country to live in a totally new world, that's why. so who can blame me for being a little bit unconcerned of what was going on around the globe? my world was about to CHANGE.
will singapore treat me good? will it live up to what i dreamed it to be? will i be happy???
i distinctly remember being so restless a couple of weeks before that fateful day. so many things ran through my mind that it came to a point where i wanted to call off the whole thing.
you just don't realize how deathly afraid i was of being away from my family and friends because of a zillion things. because i will miss them. that is saying a lot already. the occasions, the secrets, even the absolutely mundane things... most especially the deceptively boring and ho-hum things you do with them. i will surely miss them being present with me. what else? yup. i couldn't bear the thought of missing the smell, the taste, the sound and the feel of familiar things...somebody stop me or i could go for hours.
fast forward to 9/29. now what???
well, it has been a couple of weeks. things are getting better. everything is new. good, i like trying everything new. it makes me a bit afraid, utterly miserable even, but eventually you realize that, yes, it's just one of those things and it shall pass. for better or for worse, har har har.
p.s.
pardon the histrionics. it's my first time, you see :) reading through the stuff above, something came up. that is, i did not expect to be fairly happy this early. good! :)
