I don’t know what it is with orchids and garden plants that makes me want to wake up early in the morning to water them. As far as I know, the only thing that can effectively rouse me from slumber at an ungodly hour is a toss-up between finishing work-related deadline (i.e., the kind where the knife is about to drop, get it?) and catching a ride for the much-awaited out-of-town trip.
The exercise takes all of two hours. No kidding. And it does not get better. Each time I look, the pots feel like they’re going to crack from the weight of overgrown orchids and flowering plants, meaning, we will have to transfer the outgrowth to new pots yet again. It is a never-ending cycle; has always been this way for more years than I care to count. But no one seems to mind. Surely not me, more assuredly not my Inang. Gardening keeps her hale and healthy.
My main point on watering the plants is that it is always followed by an invariably lively morning talk with Inang over the usual fare of hotdogs, bacon, butter, strawberry jam, pandesal and coffee. This quasi-ritual I have come to enjoy over time, if only to tell me over and over again how resilient, courageous, revered, and funny Inang is, all at the same time. Possibly without her being aware of it, I have come to know, value and love her more because of this.
For one, because of her, I now know how I am related to my neighbor-cousins. Ours is one circuitous tree, if there ever was one - what with ancient stepmothers, half-brothers and half-sisters among the branches. Now, do I remember the fruits of the tree and the branch to which they belong? Come to think of it, at 87, Inang truly has a remarkably sharp memory.
Then, there are always these people who drop by from time to time to consult her on issues ranging from the mundane to those heavy enough to split a close-knit clan. For some reason, her advice seem to weigh a lot to them.
On another note, she is a one-woman charitable institution. I know a lot of people come to her to borrow money. She gives and gives even if at times she knows that the money is good as gone as soon as it leaves her hand. While at it, I also remember some hired hands who took advantage of her generosity and gullibility. She says it’s always better to give than to receive. I’ve known it since kindergarten but more than two decades later, the lesson still begs for my full appreciation, understanding and application. If anything, I guess I got the ‘gullible strain’ from her, of all things.
Still on another note, every time she cooks lunch or dinner for relatives, everyone turns up. It might be because she is, I think, the oldest in the clan. But then again, it might have more to do with the food spread on the table which, although mostly consisting of more or less the same fare each and every time, taste really, really, really good.
She just has this idiosyncracy that is truly her own and one that never fails to drive me off the wall.
She has this costly habit of reordering and/or changing things. By things, I mean any area of the house ranging from the garden, the kitchen, the bedrooms...or the house itself. It’s like this: after commissioning work to rework the kitchen, she somehow finds something lacking or wrong with it several months later. Rework on top of rework. You have to thank the heavens if the structure remains untouched after one year.
There are other equally fascinating incidents which I cannot quite remember in detail any longer. I just hope I have absorbed the lesson well, like the food I eat everyday. I mean, I don’t remember what I ate last month or last week but I’m sure I had my fill and it is now part of who, what and how I am. That kind of thing. :-P
p.s.
belive me, bloggie, when i say that as of today, a couple of hired hands are banging away at the back of the house to relocate the kitchen sink and the cupboard.
oh well.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
It's in the stars...and stripes III - The new recruit?
27 April 2005
This time around, I didn’t wear my kinda ‘lucky’ uniform for the interview.* Instead, I had on a dull grey blouse under a no-frills black pantsuit. Bland and so ho-hum, the combo was just perfect! I only needed to summon that deadpan, dead serious face skilled number crunchers liked to put on when coming face to face with their similarly unreadable clients. But no, I won’t go that far. That was not me, anyway. I intended to remain cool and cheery even under extreme pressure from the looming roasting and grilling I was about to go through.
In the guise of going out for another client assignment, I disappeared from my work area a good two hours from the 3:30 pm interview. I went to Raquel’s area on another floor and dumped my laptop in her locker. I would just come back for it later.
By this time, I was trying to feign an appearance of calm and confidence. If Raquel only knew that my knees were practically shaking….
PwC office was just across the street. Having ample time, I managed to walk leisurely.
Angela was there, in the flesh, to welcome me. She was very warm and congenial. I liked her in an instant.
After some time, the moment arrived. Angela introduced me to Haresh from PwC-San Jose and Pete from PwC-Washington.
The interview with Haresh had gone well, I think, precisely because he didn’t ask a lot of questions. He was more like a father reciting a list of to-do’s for her daughter who was about to be sent off to a university in a faraway state. I was just nodding the whole time. :)
Pete was a different story altogether. First off, he had this eerie resemblance to David Caruso of CSI – Miami! And his eyes were rather piercing, like, “you cannot hide anything from me”. Get the picture? On top of that, he ushered me to sit beside him! It was such an unusual arrangement.
Initially, the atmosphere was rather formal but as the discussion wore on, with myself meeting his gaze the whole time, I just found myself getting comfortable with him. He was pleasantly surprised on some nitty-gritties I squeezed in my CV. I was silently thankful that he noticed them. J After that, everything was a breeze. I was not even asked a single technical question! No SOX, or US GAAP vs IAS vs IFRS, etc. Thank heavens for that. I was visibly relieved and I thought he saw it. But I didn’t give a damn. I think this, too, went well. He said they’d definitely get in touch in two weeks. He even gave me his business card. :)
I didn’t get burned, just lightly ‘grilled’ and ‘roasted’. Just the way I like it. :)
I didn’t come back to the office, instead, I went straight to Pacific Coffee for a shot of cappuccino. I needed time alone to absorb what I initially thought was a thoroughly delightful incident.
Then suddenly, in the middle of the hustle and bustle of what I could see were similarly situated yuppies musing about the good life this city supposedly owed them, I found myself asking if going to the US was what I really, really wanted.
It was so not in my plans, wasn’t it?
The thought was potentially treacherous…
But the interview… the interview went great, didn’t it?
* I have this office uniform from my previous employer which I wore a couple of times in a couple of final interviews for two different companies on two separate occasions. In both instances, I got hired.
This time around, I didn’t wear my kinda ‘lucky’ uniform for the interview.* Instead, I had on a dull grey blouse under a no-frills black pantsuit. Bland and so ho-hum, the combo was just perfect! I only needed to summon that deadpan, dead serious face skilled number crunchers liked to put on when coming face to face with their similarly unreadable clients. But no, I won’t go that far. That was not me, anyway. I intended to remain cool and cheery even under extreme pressure from the looming roasting and grilling I was about to go through.
In the guise of going out for another client assignment, I disappeared from my work area a good two hours from the 3:30 pm interview. I went to Raquel’s area on another floor and dumped my laptop in her locker. I would just come back for it later.
By this time, I was trying to feign an appearance of calm and confidence. If Raquel only knew that my knees were practically shaking….
PwC office was just across the street. Having ample time, I managed to walk leisurely.
Angela was there, in the flesh, to welcome me. She was very warm and congenial. I liked her in an instant.
After some time, the moment arrived. Angela introduced me to Haresh from PwC-San Jose and Pete from PwC-Washington.
The interview with Haresh had gone well, I think, precisely because he didn’t ask a lot of questions. He was more like a father reciting a list of to-do’s for her daughter who was about to be sent off to a university in a faraway state. I was just nodding the whole time. :)
Pete was a different story altogether. First off, he had this eerie resemblance to David Caruso of CSI – Miami! And his eyes were rather piercing, like, “you cannot hide anything from me”. Get the picture? On top of that, he ushered me to sit beside him! It was such an unusual arrangement.
Initially, the atmosphere was rather formal but as the discussion wore on, with myself meeting his gaze the whole time, I just found myself getting comfortable with him. He was pleasantly surprised on some nitty-gritties I squeezed in my CV. I was silently thankful that he noticed them. J After that, everything was a breeze. I was not even asked a single technical question! No SOX, or US GAAP vs IAS vs IFRS, etc. Thank heavens for that. I was visibly relieved and I thought he saw it. But I didn’t give a damn. I think this, too, went well. He said they’d definitely get in touch in two weeks. He even gave me his business card. :)
I didn’t get burned, just lightly ‘grilled’ and ‘roasted’. Just the way I like it. :)
I didn’t come back to the office, instead, I went straight to Pacific Coffee for a shot of cappuccino. I needed time alone to absorb what I initially thought was a thoroughly delightful incident.
Then suddenly, in the middle of the hustle and bustle of what I could see were similarly situated yuppies musing about the good life this city supposedly owed them, I found myself asking if going to the US was what I really, really wanted.
It was so not in my plans, wasn’t it?
The thought was potentially treacherous…
But the interview… the interview went great, didn’t it?
* I have this office uniform from my previous employer which I wore a couple of times in a couple of final interviews for two different companies on two separate occasions. In both instances, I got hired.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
It's in the stars...and stripes II - Build me up...buttercup?
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. - Les Brown
21 April 2005
It was exactly two weeks before I saw Angela’s name in my mail again.
I would be interviewed on 27 April for a possible assignment in San Francisco, San Jose or Los Angeles. With the email came the perfunctory employment application that I need to fill up and bring to the interview.
Angela informed me that should the stars be in my favor, I would be granted a full H1B visa sponsorship for an October 2005 start date. This last line did it for me.
Once again, the dam broke loose. A torrent of thoughts and images fought for space in my brain. Having been let loose, my mind was slowly but progressively rendering reality as I knew and lived it as nothing more than an illusion.
Goodness. My imagination was already shooting for the moon. To think that I still had to hurdle the interview.
So God help me.
21 April 2005
It was exactly two weeks before I saw Angela’s name in my mail again.
I would be interviewed on 27 April for a possible assignment in San Francisco, San Jose or Los Angeles. With the email came the perfunctory employment application that I need to fill up and bring to the interview.
Angela informed me that should the stars be in my favor, I would be granted a full H1B visa sponsorship for an October 2005 start date. This last line did it for me.
Once again, the dam broke loose. A torrent of thoughts and images fought for space in my brain. Having been let loose, my mind was slowly but progressively rendering reality as I knew and lived it as nothing more than an illusion.
Goodness. My imagination was already shooting for the moon. To think that I still had to hurdle the interview.
So God help me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
It's in the stars...and stripes I - The accident that was most welcome
I have always believed that all things depended upon Fortune, and nothing upon ourselves. -George Gordon Byron
7 April 2005
I was rushing out of our office building to eat a late lunch when I literally bumped into Jean. I didn’t recognize him from afar.*
He not so much as yanked my right arm, led me into a corner and showed me a letter he received from PwC-US stating that they’d be scheduling an interview with him when they come over to visit Singapore from 27 – 29 April to scour for foreign talents (read: OCWs!!!).
Hmmm, I didn’t know that. Nobody told me they were actually coming over. In any case, working in the USA didn’t quite figure in the equation of my dream-in-progress, if there ever was one. :)
After showing me what could be his ticket to greener pastures, he made me promise not to squeal on this happy development. Not just yet, anyway. Sure.
While he was into it, he said I should also give it a shot and send my CV to Angela, his contact in PwC-US. Sure.
I almost forgot about that meeting with Jean had I not ran into his name in my Inbox as I was searching for my client’s email. I don’t know what came over me then but I just found myself stopping midway from what I was doing. I hurriedly opened my CV and updated it. I neither cared to glance at the revisions nor did I think up a neat cover letter. In thirty minutes flat, my CV was on its way to poor, unsuspecting Angela. A few minutes after clicking on the Send button, I realized I only remembered Angela’s email address from memory, I mean, I just saw it from the email Jean showed me.
That was 6 April.
The following day, I received an email from her telling me that she was scheduling me for an interview sometime between 27 - 29Apr!
It was kinda fast. I was kinda thrilled! Honestly, I had doubts on my chances at the outset. I thought I was too late. Apparently, I made it just in time.
I debated with my neurotic self on whether I should tell a handful of friends about the very promising event. I mean, what if, after all the excitement, I didn’t make the cut?
In the end I did tell them as I knew they’d always be there whatever the outcome of the upcoming interview might be.
* How could I? Burdened as I am with nearsightedness, I still stubbornly refuse to wear a pair of eyeglasses or contact lenses.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
PG chronicles III - Seizing the day
Carpe diem is an obscure Latin phrase I always associate with Dead Poets Society. I think it means living life to the fullest and getting the most out of each day.
Well, in true seize-the-day fashion, our second day at PG was marked by loads of activities and unexpected encounters which I could choose to view in two opposing perspectives - one of bragging rights (yeah, yeah) or one of dreadful panic.
7am
We barely managed to get up for the snorkeling adventure over at San Antonio beach. But once there, our normally lethargis selves got all worked up as we viewed the amzzing view from under water. Johnne and I even spotted a school of fish, their graceful and uniform movement taking our breath away. How could they do that, move in unison? It boggles the mind. Like a flock of seagulls...jonathan livingston seagull...i am digressing.
I found out that my new friend Anthony conducts diving lessons. Wonderful! Now I know who to contact in case the 'itch' to dive becomes unbearable. :P
2pm
Having been sufficiently toasted by the sun, we called it a day by 12 noon, freshened up and headed to Traveller's Delight for some major pig out session. I do not know if it was because we were soo hungry or the food just really tasted great. Hunger tends to distort your judgment, you know.
4pm
Totally let down upon knowing that there was no money changer in the *^%$# place, we contemplated on our bleak future. Our saviour cum saints of perpetual help were anthony and phoebe. Bless them. Our mood literally turned from dark to grey...errr...bright, bright...whatever. We were ecstatic. Or was it just me?
6pm
We assembled at the beach to do Banana boatride. Was it fun! We must have given Manong a minor case of heart attack as we vigorously shook the boat until it capsized. It was pitch dark, maybe well past 7pm, dear bloggie. Poor Manong. You could really see him struggling as he took stock of the juvenile delinquents that were his passengers. Fun! :-P
10pm
Of course, we were eternally hungry. So we ate at Nikita Dining (I think). Then, it was time. No trip to Galera was complete without the notoriuos Minodro Sling. So it was basically Gina and I who were downing the pitcher. Anthony added bottles of cheap vodka in the mix. As the night wore on, only Gina and I remained standing. It was also good as we were in too deep with girl talk.
2am
Then, a couple of Super Dry landed on our tables which, according to the gay waiter (waitress?) was courtesy of two foreigners sitting somewhere within our field of vision. Goodness, did we look like some sweet painted ladies???? Before we could protest further, who would took a seat but one of them white men. Gina immediately called JM to rescue us. Understand that we still managed to keep our cool surface under the circumstances.
230am
JM took us to his former groupmates in JCC over at the other side of the beach. By this time, I was a little light-headed but definitely sane. JM introduced us to the guys and girls. There was one tall guy, though, who kept talking to me and even managed to get my number. I thought that was the end of it. Anyway, I was getting bored, sleepy and woozy so I pleaded for coffee.
330am
After a round of black coffee, JM accompanied us to our cottage for the much needed shuteye. I heard my phone beep. It was the tall guy we met at the beach. What was he saying???? For all I know he must have been cross-eyed and sufficiently soused way before he met us for him to be saying these...whatever. I needed to sleep.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
PG chronicles II - The 9:40 am/pm brouhaha
I told them my flight was on 30 April at 9:40am. They thought 9:40am was the plane’s touchdown at NAIA.
The moment I turned my phone on, I got a call from Gina. It turned out they - Johnee, Jannette and Gina - endured additional three hours waiting for me. I was so unaware of their ordeal.
What a total blunder!
After hurriedly packing our things in Johnne’s home, we boarded a cab that would take us to the bus terminal in Buendia. By 5:00pm, Johnee, JM, Jannette, Gina and I were neatly tucked in our seats as the bus began its bumpy ride going to Batangas port.
It was roughly 8:00pm when we reached the port. Thankfully, there was one last boat going to Puerto Galera. The five of us, plus the other five guys the boatmen fished from somewhere, were herded to a jeep that would take us to the dock where the our precious boat was anchored.
It was pitch dark but we were determined to reach White Beach so we were not deterred. I found out from JM that it was illegal for small boats to go out to sea at night. Thus, the absence of a single light on the boat! It felt real creepy but I was not the least bit jittery. I was, in fact, so happy. I dunno if I shared this strange excitement with anyone from my group. My urbane, proper and genteel friends were deafeningly quiet. Could they be praying for our safety?
Oddly enough, we felt that the boat was ‘moonwalking’, like, we were not moving. The lighthouse remained a dot in the horizon. I shut my eyes and silently uttered a prayer. A real adventure, this trip was turning out to be.
What should take an hour from Batangas port to White Beach took our boat close to two hours to navigate. I wondered if the boat did moonwalk…
We arrived at White Beach at 9:40pm, famished but quite relieved that the trip was over.
It was good that Gina booked a nice place for us. We dumped our bags, freshened up a bit, locked the door and went out to score some nice food. Get a little drunk, probably???
This night, we would find out, saw the biggest turnout of people yet. Good!
We managed to find our little space, settled down on the sand and immediately ordered - what else! - Mindoro sling. We just watched as the merry melee of younger and more daring crowd showed their moves on the dance floor..err..sand. Some gal even sent the entire male population whooping as she literally showed her wares.
With that, we called it a night. We had to. It was already 3am!!!
p.s.
what i went through just to make my wish come true:
plane from Singapore to NAIA – car from NAIA to Johnne’s home – cab from Johnne’s home to Buendia bus terminal going to Batangas port – bus from Buendia to Batangas port – jeep from the port to the dock – boat from the dock to White Beach!
if there's a 'wheel', there's a way. :)
The moment I turned my phone on, I got a call from Gina. It turned out they - Johnee, Jannette and Gina - endured additional three hours waiting for me. I was so unaware of their ordeal.
What a total blunder!
After hurriedly packing our things in Johnne’s home, we boarded a cab that would take us to the bus terminal in Buendia. By 5:00pm, Johnee, JM, Jannette, Gina and I were neatly tucked in our seats as the bus began its bumpy ride going to Batangas port.
It was roughly 8:00pm when we reached the port. Thankfully, there was one last boat going to Puerto Galera. The five of us, plus the other five guys the boatmen fished from somewhere, were herded to a jeep that would take us to the dock where the our precious boat was anchored.
It was pitch dark but we were determined to reach White Beach so we were not deterred. I found out from JM that it was illegal for small boats to go out to sea at night. Thus, the absence of a single light on the boat! It felt real creepy but I was not the least bit jittery. I was, in fact, so happy. I dunno if I shared this strange excitement with anyone from my group. My urbane, proper and genteel friends were deafeningly quiet. Could they be praying for our safety?
Oddly enough, we felt that the boat was ‘moonwalking’, like, we were not moving. The lighthouse remained a dot in the horizon. I shut my eyes and silently uttered a prayer. A real adventure, this trip was turning out to be.
What should take an hour from Batangas port to White Beach took our boat close to two hours to navigate. I wondered if the boat did moonwalk…
We arrived at White Beach at 9:40pm, famished but quite relieved that the trip was over.
It was good that Gina booked a nice place for us. We dumped our bags, freshened up a bit, locked the door and went out to score some nice food. Get a little drunk, probably???
This night, we would find out, saw the biggest turnout of people yet. Good!
We managed to find our little space, settled down on the sand and immediately ordered - what else! - Mindoro sling. We just watched as the merry melee of younger and more daring crowd showed their moves on the dance floor..err..sand. Some gal even sent the entire male population whooping as she literally showed her wares.
With that, we called it a night. We had to. It was already 3am!!!
p.s.
what i went through just to make my wish come true:
plane from Singapore to NAIA – car from NAIA to Johnne’s home – cab from Johnne’s home to Buendia bus terminal going to Batangas port – bus from Buendia to Batangas port – jeep from the port to the dock – boat from the dock to White Beach!
if there's a 'wheel', there's a way. :)
Friday, April 29, 2005
PG chronicles I - thank God for friends!
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. Thomas Jefferson
By all accounts, it seemed like The Great Escape to Pagudpud was a resounding Go! Everyone was excited. Except me. I was ecstatic! I was timing my short visit to coincide with this much-anticipated event.
But, as fickle as a fashionista’s fashion sense, everyone suddenly had other prior commitments as the days to the Great Escape drew near.
Just like that.
Did they not know that going to the beach meant the world to me at this time? I was so desperate to break away from the pressure of work.
But I know there was no use forcing my case on them.
Like a selfish, inconsolable crybaby, I whined my cares away on Gina and Jannette.
Ever ready, Gina said we could squeeze ourselves with her friends who were off to Puerto Galera on those days. She would take care of the accommodation.
Jannette called long distance and committed Johnne and herself to go with us. She insisted on fetching me from the airport so we need not bother my parents. She offered her apartment.
I was utterly shameless and I knew it. But of course, characteristically they would hear nothing of it. For them, it was all part of friendship.
To be loved by friends like that! :)
I knew things were really looking up from here.
out of the (match)box
i have been a fan of matchboxtwenty for the longest time.
i have all of their albums - yourself or someone like you, mad season and more than you think you are.
i can say with certainty that i like all of their songs, no exceptions. they tell stories of love, loss and of life and how to live it. i can go on and wax poetic about how i like the lyrics and everything but i know i risk sounding tacky and second-rate.
i like rob thomas and his voice. angsty is how i would describe it. for some reason, and like maroon5's adam levine, listening to him sing is enough to jumpstart my typically humdrum day. and it doesn't hurt that he was once considered one of the fifty most beautiful people walking on the planet. not bad. he rocks. period.
my question is why did rob thomas think out of the (match)box and leave his bandmates? if not for yahoo, i would not have known that he is striking it out on his own via his something to be album.
of course i have the cd. i am currently listening to the 8th track and it is kinda hard not to think of the pop-rock band for which he has been the lead singer and songwriter since 1998. ever the same and when the heartaches end sound sooo matchboxtwenty. i cannot feel much less hear the difference. i thought lonely no more, although a catchy tune, was a tad too pop and mainstream. well, these are just my thoughts, so...
so why did rob rob matchbox twenty of its heart and soul? i wonder if there is really no turning back for him. that would be sad.
i have all of their albums - yourself or someone like you, mad season and more than you think you are.
i can say with certainty that i like all of their songs, no exceptions. they tell stories of love, loss and of life and how to live it. i can go on and wax poetic about how i like the lyrics and everything but i know i risk sounding tacky and second-rate.
i like rob thomas and his voice. angsty is how i would describe it. for some reason, and like maroon5's adam levine, listening to him sing is enough to jumpstart my typically humdrum day. and it doesn't hurt that he was once considered one of the fifty most beautiful people walking on the planet. not bad. he rocks. period.
my question is why did rob thomas think out of the (match)box and leave his bandmates? if not for yahoo, i would not have known that he is striking it out on his own via his something to be album.
of course i have the cd. i am currently listening to the 8th track and it is kinda hard not to think of the pop-rock band for which he has been the lead singer and songwriter since 1998. ever the same and when the heartaches end sound sooo matchboxtwenty. i cannot feel much less hear the difference. i thought lonely no more, although a catchy tune, was a tad too pop and mainstream. well, these are just my thoughts, so...
so why did rob rob matchbox twenty of its heart and soul? i wonder if there is really no turning back for him. that would be sad.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
grey area
************************************************************************************
i knew it was coming.
i should get going by this time and make myself 'useful' but i don't want to. not yet.
this conversation with two dear friends, initially about something so simple as deciding what to do with my time during my short visit, has veered into the 'touchy' topic once again.
as usual, when it concerns the status of my lovelife (ugh!), we usually end up talking and debating about these two guys. but technically, if there ever are technicalities involved in the ever-confusing art of relationship, the other guy should be out of the equation because i do not see the two of us ever swerving from the friendship track. but as usual, and because i am outnumbered, according to them, what this guy and i have is enough reason to qualify for some discussion and dissection.
sometimes i just want to cut myself off from all form of communication and pretend i totally don't know these guys from adam. but it just takes one text, email or ym message and i am reminded once again of their existence. other times, i think i am overthinking, that there is really nothing there. nada. i try to play it cool but i know both my dear friends know that i am not ever going to get used to this 'art'. ever.
in truth, i am getting tired of being in this running-around-without-getting-anywhere state. maybe part of it is self-inflicted. maybe, maybe not.
gosh, i better stop.
in the end, as long as friends like them are there, i'll be fine. everything else be damned.
************************************************************************************************
i guess a lot of things are bound to happen when i go home for a short visit.
in the meantime, i better go.
************************************************************************************************
p.s.
let it be known to me (for future reference, hahaha) that i had second thoughts about posting this blog. but whadda heck.
so gina, if ever you are gonna comment on this one, don't do it here, please? email me instead. :)))
i knew it was coming.
i should get going by this time and make myself 'useful' but i don't want to. not yet.
this conversation with two dear friends, initially about something so simple as deciding what to do with my time during my short visit, has veered into the 'touchy' topic once again.
as usual, when it concerns the status of my lovelife (ugh!), we usually end up talking and debating about these two guys. but technically, if there ever are technicalities involved in the ever-confusing art of relationship, the other guy should be out of the equation because i do not see the two of us ever swerving from the friendship track. but as usual, and because i am outnumbered, according to them, what this guy and i have is enough reason to qualify for some discussion and dissection.
sometimes i just want to cut myself off from all form of communication and pretend i totally don't know these guys from adam. but it just takes one text, email or ym message and i am reminded once again of their existence. other times, i think i am overthinking, that there is really nothing there. nada. i try to play it cool but i know both my dear friends know that i am not ever going to get used to this 'art'. ever.
in truth, i am getting tired of being in this running-around-without-getting-anywhere state. maybe part of it is self-inflicted. maybe, maybe not.
gosh, i better stop.
in the end, as long as friends like them are there, i'll be fine. everything else be damned.
************************************************************************************************
i guess a lot of things are bound to happen when i go home for a short visit.
in the meantime, i better go.
************************************************************************************************
p.s.
let it be known to me (for future reference, hahaha) that i had second thoughts about posting this blog. but whadda heck.
so gina, if ever you are gonna comment on this one, don't do it here, please? email me instead. :)))
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
di elibs sa eLeave :))
Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes,
and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit.
A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief
that all's right with the world.
The thing with our very own eLeave is that it is self-approving, meaning, you apply and approve your own leave. The HRD absolutely believes it's a very smart idea and that we should be grateful since it's like saying that the powers-that-be are letting you take charge of your time, however way you want to spend it.
Of course the first time I heard it, and probably owing to my (almost) chronic distrust to accept things at face value, I didn't believe it for a second. There has got to be a catch-22 somewhere...
I found out when I applied for leave last year.
As it turned out, my immediate superior/s, Admin Manager and Group secretary would be simultaneously notified, thru email, that I was about to ditch my job for a teeny-weeny while so could they give me this break or else... That is the catch. Another 'trick' of the trade.
From where I stand, our seemingly 'smart' eLeave is nothing more than an electronic version of the old, used-to-be-manual form that snakes its way up the the 'proper' channels before finally being determined that, yes, I deserve a temporary break from permanent servitude.
Okay, I've had my fill of daily ranting.
Hmm...why did I end up raging against the machine, ooops!, establishment when I was going for a happy post because I have just applied for and approved (they should go together!!!) a one-week leave once again? I should be happy.
I am happy! :)
can't wait to buy my plane ticket.
of course, sunscreen, beachwear, dresses for my nieces.
something for my parents.
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
hmm..my parents. i will be returning to Singapore with them! :)))
and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit.
A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief
that all's right with the world.
The thing with our very own eLeave is that it is self-approving, meaning, you apply and approve your own leave. The HRD absolutely believes it's a very smart idea and that we should be grateful since it's like saying that the powers-that-be are letting you take charge of your time, however way you want to spend it.
Of course the first time I heard it, and probably owing to my (almost) chronic distrust to accept things at face value, I didn't believe it for a second. There has got to be a catch-22 somewhere...
I found out when I applied for leave last year.
As it turned out, my immediate superior/s, Admin Manager and Group secretary would be simultaneously notified, thru email, that I was about to ditch my job for a teeny-weeny while so could they give me this break or else... That is the catch. Another 'trick' of the trade.
From where I stand, our seemingly 'smart' eLeave is nothing more than an electronic version of the old, used-to-be-manual form that snakes its way up the the 'proper' channels before finally being determined that, yes, I deserve a temporary break from permanent servitude.
Okay, I've had my fill of daily ranting.
Hmm...why did I end up raging against the machine, ooops!, establishment when I was going for a happy post because I have just applied for and approved (they should go together!!!) a one-week leave once again? I should be happy.
I am happy! :)
can't wait to buy my plane ticket.
of course, sunscreen, beachwear, dresses for my nieces.
something for my parents.
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
hmm..my parents. i will be returning to Singapore with them! :)))
Monday, April 18, 2005
hopelessly lost in translation
first off, let me just say that i am, and will never, pretend to be an authority in grammar, phraseology, diction, etc. because i am not. it's just that sometimes, you get completely stumped by the way some people put into writing what they perceive are unmistakably coherent thoughts.
i have been staring at this email for the longest time but i still cannot decipher what it means. i am close to giving up. for chrissakes, i am not a cryptologist.
******************************************************************************
______________________________________
From: Staff (SG/AG3)
Sent: 18/04/2005 8:06 AM
To: Me (SG/AG3)
Subject: ISI and IAH
Hi ******(my name here),
This is the latest version by add in the Kamille's apologies on found the share certificate.
******************************************************************************
i think this one beats everything in terms of twisting my brain senseless trying to decode the words. no kidding, she wants me to decode the words!!!
for the record, i think i have let pass variations of this 'murder' (forgive me, bloggie, but i am really kinda floored by this entry). most times, i find humor in it, sometimes i think it's cute.
but this one???
does it ever have to come to this? do i actually have to 'crack the code' for scraps of meaning embedded somewhere in these pile of words?
sometimes i wish i were one of dan brown's incomparably clever characters.
help!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
back on the friendship track
Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives, and remembering what one receives.
Back in high school, I knew that she was one person who was for keeps.
It came automatically. This 'for keeps' thing is so juvenile and as tacky as the entries in the ubiquitous high school slumbook go, but hey, I meant it.
I thought she made a lot of sense. I thought she understood me more than anyone else. It was just a pity we got to know each other in our senior year. Nonetheless, when it was time to say goodbye, we promised to keep in touch, no matter what.
Then again, growing up meant growing apart.
I forgot about high school and got too busy trying to grow up. Too busy, I guess, that we lost touch.
But I guess I could not escape high school even if I wanted to. There were the weddings, christening, house blessings and all sorts of milestones in the lives of people who once graced the pages of my own slumbook to keep me reminded. Yeah, I used to have one, so? :)
Anyway, these events always triggered memories of yesteryears and made me wonder whatever happened to those few precious friends I had then...whatever happened to Etta?
God bless whoever created yahoogroups. Someone from high school managed to track me down, asked for my email addy and the rest was history. All too suddenly, we became current...well, except for the faces I associate the names with. I wondered aloud how they looked now and what they made of their own good lives. It turned out everyone was on the same line of thought.
So we met up. And there was Etta! :) Needless to say, we chatted endlessly. When it was time to go, we promised never to lose touch. This time, the pledge was for keeps. Why, we are grown-ups and grown-ups have supposedly outgrown their erratic ways by now, keeping promises included. :))
Now, I am chatting away with her.
It feels so good talking to her because I can tell her everything. And I mean everything. I can write kilometric lines and she gets it. No matter is too trivial or unimportant to her. And each time, her riposte is so funny I sometimes forget my oh-so-important issues.
She is the reason why I write this blog, to thank her for just being there.
I never imagined just being there could mean so much.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
amazing!
I just realize that I am talking, no, exchanging emails, with friends from different corners of the world. Right about now.
I particularly envy Lotta, a dear friend from high school. She has been in Switzerland since December doing SAP work. Of course, we do not discuss work (duh). We have totally nothing in common in that respect, anyway. Now, why do I envy her? It's the more-than-picture-perfect pictures and the totally exciting places she has been to eversince she was assigned there. Side by side, Singapore and Switzerland has totally nothing in common other than having S as initials.
Then there's this guy-friend who is on secondment in the U.K. He is from JCC. We just basically talk about nothing and anything. Anyway, he was able to convince me to try my luck there as the rest of Friday Club peeps are also interested in migrating there, with Supremo leading the pack. Let's see. I now realize I am not too sure if I want to relocate there. It's so far from home.
Still, there's Jenray, also from JCC. She is in Dubai. She seems to be enjoying herself immensely. She sez Pinays are 'mabenta' over there. Hahaha.
Awhile ago, I was chatting with Nette, another very good friend from JCC. Recently married and happily settled somewhere in the US of A, she has this way of always, always segueing into my lovelife or the lack of it. Hmmm...I might do a recording one day just so I would not repeat my standard reply over and over again until further notice, thank you. :)) (Not that there is totally no lovelife to speak of....I better shut up regarding this one...)
Amazing. ;->
I particularly envy Lotta, a dear friend from high school. She has been in Switzerland since December doing SAP work. Of course, we do not discuss work (duh). We have totally nothing in common in that respect, anyway. Now, why do I envy her? It's the more-than-picture-perfect pictures and the totally exciting places she has been to eversince she was assigned there. Side by side, Singapore and Switzerland has totally nothing in common other than having S as initials.
Then there's this guy-friend who is on secondment in the U.K. He is from JCC. We just basically talk about nothing and anything. Anyway, he was able to convince me to try my luck there as the rest of Friday Club peeps are also interested in migrating there, with Supremo leading the pack. Let's see. I now realize I am not too sure if I want to relocate there. It's so far from home.
Still, there's Jenray, also from JCC. She is in Dubai. She seems to be enjoying herself immensely. She sez Pinays are 'mabenta' over there. Hahaha.
Awhile ago, I was chatting with Nette, another very good friend from JCC. Recently married and happily settled somewhere in the US of A, she has this way of always, always segueing into my lovelife or the lack of it. Hmmm...I might do a recording one day just so I would not repeat my standard reply over and over again until further notice, thank you. :)) (Not that there is totally no lovelife to speak of....I better shut up regarding this one...)
Amazing. ;->
Sunday, April 03, 2005
One...Two...Three...Action!
Yup, take two
I looked back at what I posted on THE day. It was kinda sad and I hated it. I don’t want to remember my first birthday in Merlion country that way. No way, highway.
I was just so out of whack at that time because of some viral infection my doctor over here couldn’t quite identify. I couldn’t believe my ears when she intimated that I might have contracted dengue fever (!!!!!!) in KL. I would have objected and ruled that the rain did it on me, as I have proven countless times but she just kept rambling on and on I chose to shut my mouth. But dengue????? So utterly terrifying, don’t you think? But that’s another story.
I was in fact happy. A lot of my dear friends buzzed in, sent their kisses and said they missed me. Good. :) And those few dear friends who seemed to have forgotten? I made sure they remember. :))
The food? It was nothing fancy. I got myself the requisite cake and ice cream. And pasta in pesto sauce. The first two items were courtesy of a couple of newfound friends who somehow got wind of the fact that it was my birthday. (Until now, I haven’t told my friends here about my birthday. I’m quite shy. Yeah, right.) The third one was on me. Of course! :) If I told you these are a few of my favorite things, then they would have been enough to keep me grinning from ear to ear, my lousy state notwithstanding.
After four days
No dengue or anything remotely resembling the scary diagnosis (?) of my doctor, thank God.
I remember I promised Raya, a cousin who is in town to visit her hubby, that we’d go out on my birthday provided I wasn’t busy and she’d bring Twichie with her. Also, I want to check out how Jonah, a friend’s younger sister, is getting by with her new job here. Another thing, my brother-in-law has just arrived from a long vacation.
And yes, the icing on my cake was delivered one fine Friday morning, 31 March, in the form of an announcement by our partners that an ex-gratia equivalent to our full month’s salary would be credited to our account on a glorious Saturday, 1 April. The fact that they had no prior ‘warning’ of the news that it totally blew me away. Happiness. :))
Considering the godsend windfall, I am ready to burn a few hard-earned dollars to treat them. Hah! They can name the place for all I care. :))
Thank goodness Raya and Jonah have no idea yet where to go that they just pointed to the restaurant beside our meeting place. Mid-range, so totally within my means. :)
We dine at Crystal Jade Restaurant and stuffed ourselves silly. The pictures prove it.
Considering the absence of sickness and the more-than-pleasantly-surprising bonus, I am truly thankful.
I looked back at what I posted on THE day. It was kinda sad and I hated it. I don’t want to remember my first birthday in Merlion country that way. No way, highway.
I was just so out of whack at that time because of some viral infection my doctor over here couldn’t quite identify. I couldn’t believe my ears when she intimated that I might have contracted dengue fever (!!!!!!) in KL. I would have objected and ruled that the rain did it on me, as I have proven countless times but she just kept rambling on and on I chose to shut my mouth. But dengue????? So utterly terrifying, don’t you think? But that’s another story.
I was in fact happy. A lot of my dear friends buzzed in, sent their kisses and said they missed me. Good. :) And those few dear friends who seemed to have forgotten? I made sure they remember. :))
The food? It was nothing fancy. I got myself the requisite cake and ice cream. And pasta in pesto sauce. The first two items were courtesy of a couple of newfound friends who somehow got wind of the fact that it was my birthday. (Until now, I haven’t told my friends here about my birthday. I’m quite shy. Yeah, right.) The third one was on me. Of course! :) If I told you these are a few of my favorite things, then they would have been enough to keep me grinning from ear to ear, my lousy state notwithstanding.
After four days
No dengue or anything remotely resembling the scary diagnosis (?) of my doctor, thank God.
I remember I promised Raya, a cousin who is in town to visit her hubby, that we’d go out on my birthday provided I wasn’t busy and she’d bring Twichie with her. Also, I want to check out how Jonah, a friend’s younger sister, is getting by with her new job here. Another thing, my brother-in-law has just arrived from a long vacation.
And yes, the icing on my cake was delivered one fine Friday morning, 31 March, in the form of an announcement by our partners that an ex-gratia equivalent to our full month’s salary would be credited to our account on a glorious Saturday, 1 April. The fact that they had no prior ‘warning’ of the news that it totally blew me away. Happiness. :))
Considering the godsend windfall, I am ready to burn a few hard-earned dollars to treat them. Hah! They can name the place for all I care. :))
Thank goodness Raya and Jonah have no idea yet where to go that they just pointed to the restaurant beside our meeting place. Mid-range, so totally within my means. :)
We dine at Crystal Jade Restaurant and stuffed ourselves silly. The pictures prove it.
Considering the absence of sickness and the more-than-pleasantly-surprising bonus, I am truly thankful.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Chasing happy ever after
WHAT is a whirlwind romance? Can it be considered an offshoot of true love? What is its rate of success? Surely, there must have been some credible, definitive and - of course! - scholarly study about this type of relationship.
RELATIONSHIPS, of the whirldwind variety or otherwise, tend to end up either in the blind alley of Coupledom Wasteland or in the happy-ever-after Wonderland anyway, so...
SO. I am not a Carrie Bradshaw wannabe who, by the way, is my favorite character. Bless her sense of style. I am digressing...
I am serious about my question, though. And the adjectives? Sure.
MY dear cousin, Mia, just got married yesterday to a guy she barely knows. Think one week. Think Imelda Papin!
WHAT happened in that one short week? Holy Week at that. This question I asked Big Sister, Small Sister and Ria, Mia's younger sister. I got different answers. Not surprising, really, considering the turn of events that unfolded at lightning speed.
BIG Sister: This guy, Marcel, just came back from the US to observe the Holy Week. He met and befriended Mia. Poor guy. Mia made him join her and the rest of the horde of worshippers walk every single street of town on Good Friday. By the time the procession ended, I think Mia had also ended her novena and the poor guy, sweating profusely even after guzzling four mineral water bottles, proposed and, that's it, they were engaged...Tita's (Mia's nanay) reaction? She would not get in the way of what the new couple wanted...Don't ask further...Until now, Tatay is asking me if this is all true. We're already heading to the Mayor's office, Bianchi is all dolled up in her yellow princess dress and he's still asking if all this is true? Here, talk to him. Don't forget your medicines.
SMALL Sister: Mia put one over us. We're older than her, remember??? How could she do this?...Yes, to the story. Well, this Marcel has a twin brother (TB)...Why call him TB?...OK. Anyway, these twins are the sons of Imee, Tita's best friend from way back. TB, we found out, is in fact Mia's email buddy of sort...Why the mix-up? I dunno. Strange things happen, perhaps?...Don't ask. No one seems to be asking. And everyone seems happy, see?...Yeah, wish you were here...I haven't met him so I can't tell you what he looks like. Hey, talk to you later, ok? I gotta find Eggmeg. Bye. Mwah.
RIA: Mia and I were being paired with these guys way before. Imee said she wanted either of us to marry either one of her sons...Yes, just like that. I said I already have a boyfriend. So she turned to Mia...Yes, one week...Mia sez he's nice and kind...Uhm, I also dunno how it started but yesterday they went to the US Embassy to declare Mia as Marcel's fiancee...I dunno how they managed to do all that, including arranging for this civil wedding at a very short notice. But his family has lots of connections, so...I dunno how they're gonna do it. Mia is having her period right now. Hahaha...Imee wanted Mama (Tita) to go to the US also. It's kinda weird. She also said that if it should happen that Mia didn't like Marcel anymore, she could end the marriage, no problem. She could even live in the house in the US if she still wanted to...I dunno. OK, have to go. I think Mama is looking for me. Take care, ok?
AFTER talking to them, the thoughts swirling in my head while absorbing the fantastic event seem to dissipate. I now find myself with so much less to say. In fact, they are reduced to two words:
LIFE happens.
WAIT... I am fighting the urge to say a lot more things, more out of concern for Mia than anything, but my mind is telling me to just take the situation as it is.
IN love, no one can harm anyone else. We are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel and for what we have become because of that.
So, amidst the madness, comedy, misplaced feelings and even deceptive motives, I wish Mia and Marcel a life of
blissful togetherness.
Cheers!
p.s.
the following lines are a fitting end to this episode.
profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. from that point on, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before - the attraction that brought them together - is impossible to explain.
when desire is still in its purest state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.
when people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. they know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. when the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second.
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
RELATIONSHIPS, of the whirldwind variety or otherwise, tend to end up either in the blind alley of Coupledom Wasteland or in the happy-ever-after Wonderland anyway, so...
SO. I am not a Carrie Bradshaw wannabe who, by the way, is my favorite character. Bless her sense of style. I am digressing...
I am serious about my question, though. And the adjectives? Sure.
MY dear cousin, Mia, just got married yesterday to a guy she barely knows. Think one week. Think Imelda Papin!
WHAT happened in that one short week? Holy Week at that. This question I asked Big Sister, Small Sister and Ria, Mia's younger sister. I got different answers. Not surprising, really, considering the turn of events that unfolded at lightning speed.
BIG Sister: This guy, Marcel, just came back from the US to observe the Holy Week. He met and befriended Mia. Poor guy. Mia made him join her and the rest of the horde of worshippers walk every single street of town on Good Friday. By the time the procession ended, I think Mia had also ended her novena and the poor guy, sweating profusely even after guzzling four mineral water bottles, proposed and, that's it, they were engaged...Tita's (Mia's nanay) reaction? She would not get in the way of what the new couple wanted...Don't ask further...Until now, Tatay is asking me if this is all true. We're already heading to the Mayor's office, Bianchi is all dolled up in her yellow princess dress and he's still asking if all this is true? Here, talk to him. Don't forget your medicines.
SMALL Sister: Mia put one over us. We're older than her, remember??? How could she do this?...Yes, to the story. Well, this Marcel has a twin brother (TB)...Why call him TB?...OK. Anyway, these twins are the sons of Imee, Tita's best friend from way back. TB, we found out, is in fact Mia's email buddy of sort...Why the mix-up? I dunno. Strange things happen, perhaps?...Don't ask. No one seems to be asking. And everyone seems happy, see?...Yeah, wish you were here...I haven't met him so I can't tell you what he looks like. Hey, talk to you later, ok? I gotta find Eggmeg. Bye. Mwah.
RIA: Mia and I were being paired with these guys way before. Imee said she wanted either of us to marry either one of her sons...Yes, just like that. I said I already have a boyfriend. So she turned to Mia...Yes, one week...Mia sez he's nice and kind...Uhm, I also dunno how it started but yesterday they went to the US Embassy to declare Mia as Marcel's fiancee...I dunno how they managed to do all that, including arranging for this civil wedding at a very short notice. But his family has lots of connections, so...I dunno how they're gonna do it. Mia is having her period right now. Hahaha...Imee wanted Mama (Tita) to go to the US also. It's kinda weird. She also said that if it should happen that Mia didn't like Marcel anymore, she could end the marriage, no problem. She could even live in the house in the US if she still wanted to...I dunno. OK, have to go. I think Mama is looking for me. Take care, ok?
AFTER talking to them, the thoughts swirling in my head while absorbing the fantastic event seem to dissipate. I now find myself with so much less to say. In fact, they are reduced to two words:
LIFE happens.
WAIT... I am fighting the urge to say a lot more things, more out of concern for Mia than anything, but my mind is telling me to just take the situation as it is.
IN love, no one can harm anyone else. We are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel and for what we have become because of that.
So, amidst the madness, comedy, misplaced feelings and even deceptive motives, I wish Mia and Marcel a life of
blissful togetherness.
Cheers!
p.s.
the following lines are a fitting end to this episode.
profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. from that point on, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before - the attraction that brought them together - is impossible to explain.
when desire is still in its purest state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.
when people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. they know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. when the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second.
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Pops is not telling a lie
When the solution is simple, God is answering. --Albert Einstein
Just when I thought I would not see the light of day...
HE is in charge. Why do I need to be always reminded?
I thought I needed more than luck, blood, sweat and tears to carry me through this extraordinarily hectic week (for the record: feb 28 - mar 4. there.).
I got all the deadlines down pat (you should see my diary). I had scheduled the client calls I needed to make. Of course if I called them, you could bet your last cent that they would volley questions back to my homecourt so I likewise made allowances for that. Check. Then I had to play big sister to my overly proactive underlings who ask questions ranging from the splendidly smart to the terrribly duh.
Oh. My. Gosh. How, how, how could I breathe? Even if I gave up a couple of hours of shuteye everyday (from this day forward so heaven help me), I knew I needed something that resembled a miracle to finish ALL of these *#*"* stuff in time.
On top of these, I was particularly bothered by two items:
(1) Some client said that the reporting package attached to the main report we sent to our counterpart in Zurich was - horrors!!!! – not the updated version. What???? What would I tell the partner then? How could I convince him to sign another fax telling Zurich about this inexcusable blunder??? Oh dear. I couldn't breathe...
(2) Another client was following up on the draft annual report. Fair enough. Fieldwork ended first week of Feb anyway. But where do I start, pray tell? It’s a totally different ballgame here. Out-and-out DIY.
I had one manager for both (1) and (2) who left without so much as an adieu. Pfftt! Just like that. When I asked our secretaries if someone would take over her post, they said the partners said I could probabaly manage these NEW engagements. Thank you. What does NEW mean? No prior year files to copy from, no prior year financial statements patterned after my firm’s template. No prior year everything. And I am a NEWbie, did they overlook that fact?
Does Hercules have a female counterpart??? Did she become a saint? I could probably burn incense in front of her image, let the smoke rise up to the heavens to rouse her from slumber and rescue me from this fix. Quick!
I honestly thought my neck would be on the block. The idea, though, didn’t seem so morbid to me if I considered the imminent ire I would probably earn from the partners.
Deal with them I did, frightened as I was about the outcome...and the backlash, needless to say. I just prayed. Period. Didn’t know what else to do.
(1) I was afraid of checking the numbers and found the client’s accusation to be true. I only remembered checking and re-checking the figures because I was reporting directly to our partner….Well, what do you know? The reporting package we sent to Zurich was correct! My underling just mistakenly stamped the unpdated version and gave it straight to the client without my knowledge. ( I would deal with him later). I, on the other hand, downloaded the updated version, printed a copy, stamped it, attached it to the report, had it signed by our partner, and, finally, sent the signed copy to the Zurich people. Whew.
(2) I - I was basically left alone to finish this, remember??? - promised the client we’d forward the draft report first week of March. Then our secretary informed me that they just added some clients to my existing portfolio. Wow. My schedules had just gone from manageable to plainly absurd...and then there's this new client...how???? Well, what do you know? By some stroke of luck, our partner on this engagement went to China on business and would not be back ‘til 10 March. I had a way out! In short, I was able to buy some more time. That was truly a close call.
What can I say? I have proven time and time again that HE somehow always makes things right just when I thought things were so totally beyond my control and I had no way out.
I am grateful. The worrywart can breathe normally again. Well, until the next onslaught...i am so hopeless sometimes.
But I don’t care what happens tomorrow. I just survived a ****** week!!!
x's : pops? fernandez. GOD is good, all the time. sounds familiar? yes. :))
Just when I thought I would not see the light of day...
HE is in charge. Why do I need to be always reminded?
I thought I needed more than luck, blood, sweat and tears to carry me through this extraordinarily hectic week (for the record: feb 28 - mar 4. there.).
I got all the deadlines down pat (you should see my diary). I had scheduled the client calls I needed to make. Of course if I called them, you could bet your last cent that they would volley questions back to my homecourt so I likewise made allowances for that. Check. Then I had to play big sister to my overly proactive underlings who ask questions ranging from the splendidly smart to the terrribly duh.
Oh. My. Gosh. How, how, how could I breathe? Even if I gave up a couple of hours of shuteye everyday (from this day forward so heaven help me), I knew I needed something that resembled a miracle to finish ALL of these *#*"* stuff in time.
On top of these, I was particularly bothered by two items:
(1) Some client said that the reporting package attached to the main report we sent to our counterpart in Zurich was - horrors!!!! – not the updated version. What???? What would I tell the partner then? How could I convince him to sign another fax telling Zurich about this inexcusable blunder??? Oh dear. I couldn't breathe...
(2) Another client was following up on the draft annual report. Fair enough. Fieldwork ended first week of Feb anyway. But where do I start, pray tell? It’s a totally different ballgame here. Out-and-out DIY.
I had one manager for both (1) and (2) who left without so much as an adieu. Pfftt! Just like that. When I asked our secretaries if someone would take over her post, they said the partners said I could probabaly manage these NEW engagements. Thank you. What does NEW mean? No prior year files to copy from, no prior year financial statements patterned after my firm’s template. No prior year everything. And I am a NEWbie, did they overlook that fact?
Does Hercules have a female counterpart??? Did she become a saint? I could probably burn incense in front of her image, let the smoke rise up to the heavens to rouse her from slumber and rescue me from this fix. Quick!
I honestly thought my neck would be on the block. The idea, though, didn’t seem so morbid to me if I considered the imminent ire I would probably earn from the partners.
Deal with them I did, frightened as I was about the outcome...and the backlash, needless to say. I just prayed. Period. Didn’t know what else to do.
(1) I was afraid of checking the numbers and found the client’s accusation to be true. I only remembered checking and re-checking the figures because I was reporting directly to our partner….Well, what do you know? The reporting package we sent to Zurich was correct! My underling just mistakenly stamped the unpdated version and gave it straight to the client without my knowledge. ( I would deal with him later). I, on the other hand, downloaded the updated version, printed a copy, stamped it, attached it to the report, had it signed by our partner, and, finally, sent the signed copy to the Zurich people. Whew.
(2) I - I was basically left alone to finish this, remember??? - promised the client we’d forward the draft report first week of March. Then our secretary informed me that they just added some clients to my existing portfolio. Wow. My schedules had just gone from manageable to plainly absurd...and then there's this new client...how???? Well, what do you know? By some stroke of luck, our partner on this engagement went to China on business and would not be back ‘til 10 March. I had a way out! In short, I was able to buy some more time. That was truly a close call.
What can I say? I have proven time and time again that HE somehow always makes things right just when I thought things were so totally beyond my control and I had no way out.
I am grateful. The worrywart can breathe normally again. Well, until the next onslaught...i am so hopeless sometimes.
But I don’t care what happens tomorrow. I just survived a ****** week!!!
x's : pops? fernandez. GOD is good, all the time. sounds familiar? yes. :))
Thursday, February 17, 2005
kumusta na?
wow, matagal na pala akong walang bagong balita. hindi ko man lang napansin na mahigit dalawang buwan na pala akong walang...ahhhh...nasasabi. hay, ang hirap pala magsulat ng maayos na filipino (tagalog o filipino...ewan). waahhhh...
i give up.
well, i just want to say hi. yeah, just for the sake of adding another post in my archive. hahaha.
i can not think of what to say at the moment. but yes, really, i just want to say hi. it is not that nothing much has happened or is happening.
i have a confession to make:
...the truth is I FORGOT MY USERNAME AND PASSWORD.
ako talaga, oo. minsan, hindi, madalas, parang ewan.
can you blame me? i can only remember so much usernames and passwords.
i give up.
well, i just want to say hi. yeah, just for the sake of adding another post in my archive. hahaha.
i can not think of what to say at the moment. but yes, really, i just want to say hi. it is not that nothing much has happened or is happening.
i have a confession to make:
...the truth is I FORGOT MY USERNAME AND PASSWORD.
ako talaga, oo. minsan, hindi, madalas, parang ewan.
can you blame me? i can only remember so much usernames and passwords.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
pessimistic optimism?
I find nothing more depressing than optimism. Paul Fussell
My staff just told me I've never looked so happy. Now that’s a thought. At my current state, nothing could be more illogical.
Do I really look like someone who can give those sunshiny Colgate models a run for their money with my supposedly cheerful countenance? I REALLY wonder.
I have put up with fits of dissatisfaction and, yes, wretchedness (not self-inflicted, i believe). All because I promise to be happy with whatever falls upon me.
But gosh. Did they dump a heap on my platter! To think that I felt I already had more than my share.
So okay. I just took a deep breath, recited my all-time favorite mantra (haha) and hoped that everything would still be well. What else could I do???
And reality is sinking in fast. So first things first. Obviously, the added load meant I had to labor plotting my revised - and ever-mounting – timelines and identified to-dos. Now, anyone in my line of work knows how horrendous the remaining unidentified tasks could get. Anyway...when I saw what I did, I felt nothing…nothing like I what felt before. Suffice it to say that when January 2005 comes, I will have to constantly remind myself that breathing is not supposed to require conscious effort. Go figure.
Will it really be THAT BAD?
At the moment, I lose myself in my calendar, coloring December 21 with all the shades of the rAinBow. There is always sunshine after the rain, after all. No matter what. ;->
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Virus, part II
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost
I was sidetracked by so many things which were beyond my control. I felt I had to vent lest I be consumed by so many negative thoughts running through my head. If you had your dear friends trying vainly not to break down in front of you, it would require superhuman efforts to appease them and say that everything would soon blow over. The better part of me said that I should just shut up. I would not offer much help as I am facing the same issue anyway.
Looks like this nasty virus is rearing its ugly head at me all over again.
I don’t exactly know how to call it. This recurring virus. I will just try my best to describe my condition in detail.
Prognosis: I want to run away again.
History: Before anything else, let me just say that I refuse to admit I was looking through rose-colored glasses when I plunged head-on into this life-changing move. Why, you ask?
1. I knew what I was looking forward to. Been there, done that. 2. Every member of my dearest family never objected to whatever would make me happy. 3. I was sure - and I swear my interviewer turned employer was even surer - it could not get any worse than my previous employments. 4. There were the endless rounds of dinner and coffee with friends of various conviction/persuasion/what-have-you who were one in saying that this opportunity was golden from all angles. What could be better than having a financially rewarding job, right? 5. I thought this break was rather fateful. I was trying mightily to make sense of what was happening between me and some friend at an apparently breakneck speed. I thought this opportunity provided both of us the chance to find out what we really were to each other. (I might have a lot of explaining to do to my dear friends about the last one. Oh well.) There. All accounted for. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
It has been two months now and all I can manage to say is this: reality does shake things up quite a bit. She’s like an uninvited guest that refuses to go away, sneaking in and settling down quickly to rearrange my furniture, then my room and, finally, everything else in plain sight. She is very much into it I should say. If not for some familiar objects, I can certainly say that I am hopelessly lost. In my own home at that. After a series of shock waves, I got used her. I have totally stopped complaining. And therein lies my dilemma. I can’t put my finger on it but I know I am kinda unwell. Each time she leaves, I find myself tired, dazed and often confused.
Symptoms: 1. Initially, I have a lot of good stuff to say about my new job….then, after some time…2. I feel like dragging my feet to work. 3. I have fits of grouchiness. 3. I lose weight notwithstanding my relatively healthy appetite for food (read: chocolates, junk food, etc). 4. I can not focus properly on whatever tasks are at hand. 5. I don’t sleep well. 6. I browse jobstreet and/or jobsdb a lot. 7. I gripe about work to my friends (bless them for bearing with me!). 8. My friends actually find me some good job matches. 9. Most of the time, I get a new job offer.
Yes, it’s my job that’s my reality. I just hope her next visit will be final and one that when she leaves, I am truly happy. (That reminds me of something. Should I be changing my name?)
Prescription: ??????????
I was sidetracked by so many things which were beyond my control. I felt I had to vent lest I be consumed by so many negative thoughts running through my head. If you had your dear friends trying vainly not to break down in front of you, it would require superhuman efforts to appease them and say that everything would soon blow over. The better part of me said that I should just shut up. I would not offer much help as I am facing the same issue anyway.
Looks like this nasty virus is rearing its ugly head at me all over again.
I don’t exactly know how to call it. This recurring virus. I will just try my best to describe my condition in detail.
Prognosis: I want to run away again.
History: Before anything else, let me just say that I refuse to admit I was looking through rose-colored glasses when I plunged head-on into this life-changing move. Why, you ask?
1. I knew what I was looking forward to. Been there, done that. 2. Every member of my dearest family never objected to whatever would make me happy. 3. I was sure - and I swear my interviewer turned employer was even surer - it could not get any worse than my previous employments. 4. There were the endless rounds of dinner and coffee with friends of various conviction/persuasion/what-have-you who were one in saying that this opportunity was golden from all angles. What could be better than having a financially rewarding job, right? 5. I thought this break was rather fateful. I was trying mightily to make sense of what was happening between me and some friend at an apparently breakneck speed. I thought this opportunity provided both of us the chance to find out what we really were to each other. (I might have a lot of explaining to do to my dear friends about the last one. Oh well.) There. All accounted for. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
It has been two months now and all I can manage to say is this: reality does shake things up quite a bit. She’s like an uninvited guest that refuses to go away, sneaking in and settling down quickly to rearrange my furniture, then my room and, finally, everything else in plain sight. She is very much into it I should say. If not for some familiar objects, I can certainly say that I am hopelessly lost. In my own home at that. After a series of shock waves, I got used her. I have totally stopped complaining. And therein lies my dilemma. I can’t put my finger on it but I know I am kinda unwell. Each time she leaves, I find myself tired, dazed and often confused.
Symptoms: 1. Initially, I have a lot of good stuff to say about my new job….then, after some time…2. I feel like dragging my feet to work. 3. I have fits of grouchiness. 3. I lose weight notwithstanding my relatively healthy appetite for food (read: chocolates, junk food, etc). 4. I can not focus properly on whatever tasks are at hand. 5. I don’t sleep well. 6. I browse jobstreet and/or jobsdb a lot. 7. I gripe about work to my friends (bless them for bearing with me!). 8. My friends actually find me some good job matches. 9. Most of the time, I get a new job offer.
Yes, it’s my job that’s my reality. I just hope her next visit will be final and one that when she leaves, I am truly happy. (That reminds me of something. Should I be changing my name?)
Prescription: ??????????
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