grey area

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i knew it was coming.

i should get going by this time and make myself 'useful' but i don't want to. not yet.

this conversation with two dear friends, initially about something so simple as deciding what to do with my time during my short visit, has veered into the 'touchy' topic once again.

as usual, when it concerns the status of my lovelife (ugh!), we usually end up talking and debating about these two guys. but technically, if there ever are technicalities involved in the ever-confusing art of relationship, the other guy should be out of the equation because i do not see the two of us ever swerving from the friendship track. but as usual, and because i am outnumbered, according to them, what this guy and i have is enough reason to qualify for some discussion and dissection.

sometimes i just want to cut myself off from all form of communication and pretend i totally don't know these guys from adam. but it just takes one text, email or ym message and i am reminded once again of their existence. other times, i think i am overthinking, that there is really nothing there. nada. i try to play it cool but i know both my dear friends know that i am not ever going to get used to this 'art'. ever.

in truth, i am getting tired of being in this running-around-without-getting-anywhere state. maybe part of it is self-inflicted. maybe, maybe not.

gosh, i better stop.

in the end, as long as friends like them are there, i'll be fine. everything else be damned.

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i guess a lot of things are bound to happen when i go home for a short visit.

in the meantime, i better go.

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p.s.

let it be known to me (for future reference, hahaha) that i had second thoughts about posting this blog. but whadda heck.

so gina, if ever you are gonna comment on this one, don't do it here, please? email me instead. :)))