Stray thoughts

I overslept today I missed the 9.30am mass. And the badminton game. And a short trip to the grocery to replenish my dangerously low supply of food and whatnot.

So. There was no need to hurry as the next mass I could attend was at 5pm yet.

I didn't know how I managed to knock off such mundane tasks as taking out the trash, washing my clothes, vacuuming the carpet, etc because all I knew was that my feet were practically leaden. It must be because I had programmed my brain to be on idle mode today.

I thought Jean was out so I just went back to my room to vegetate. I was tearing the plastic cover of a novel a dear friend gave me - hey, I'm down to just four unopened books! - when Jean came knocking at my door. He wanted me to go with him to the gym.

We stopped torturing our muscles a couple of hours before it was time for church. Knowing fully well that Jean moved at lightning speed, I told him to go ahead if he felt that waiting for me was like waiting for the Second Coming.

Big mistake.

Fast forward to fifteen past five, I thought I was hyperventilating. Bugsy wouldn't start. I called Jean and a couple of other friends. Still nothing. Past the point of desperation, I calmed my frayed nerves. After a few minutes, and not knowing whether it would make any difference, I thought of using the spare key. It did the trick. I was relieved beyond belief. But then again, I couldn't help but think of things that could go wrong with my car.

I was a bit late for the mass. The homily was quite interesting. It was about dependency. My mind suddenly wandered into some dark territory.

I didn't want Him to take what I prayed for but sometimes I wish I were totally un-independent and entirely dependent on someone else to think for me, decide for me...

For a change, perhaps?

Oh well. It must be one of those days when independence tires me.