Divine intervention

Love's Divine


Then the rainstorm came
Over me
And I felt my spirit break

I had lost all of my belief, you see
And realized my mistake
But time threw a prayer
To me
And all around me became still

I need love
Love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly

I had found all of my reality
I realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bend (don't bend), don't break (don't break)
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrong
But inside I felt me lying all along
But the message here was plain to see
Believe me

'Cause I need love
Love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bend, don't break
Show me how to live and promise me You won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

Love can help me know my name.


Now more than ever. AMEN.

And so 2006 came to pass

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
It has to be my decision to live in the USA.

I have to admit that I really didn't think so hard about this move. The opportunity presented itself, I grabbed it, and, with a little luck, I found myself on my way to the Land of Milk and Honey. (Looking back, I didn't even consider what was left of a flagging relationship...or was there a real relationship to begin with?)

I have worked in a foreign country before, but it was only in Singapore, a mere three-hour flight from the Philippines. and I lived with my sister and her family, meaning, I still had a semblance of family.

Out here, man, is a totally different ballgame. I just hope I did the right thing. :)

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think i consciously made one. I am building a list of to-do's, though.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. Not yet, anyway. But two dear friends are on the family way - Tina and Jannette!!!

Did anyone close to you die?
Thank goodness, there was none.

What countries did you visit?
The USA. I guess I am here for an extended visit. :)

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Direction.

What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
First few weeks of January 2006. These are the days when I was constantly reminded of my aloneness, that I was really out here on my own. It didn't help at all that it was my first time to experince winter. Utterly melancholic.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being happy is something that is consciously developed and affirmed. So when friends tell me I look happy where I am right now, it is enough achivement for me.

What was your biggest failure?
1. Not having taken even one of the four CPA exams.
2. Not making it just in time to save a relationship.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I was rushed to the hospital on June 12th.

What was the best thing you bought?
A cheap but portable and very reliable heater for the winter!

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Me! I never thought I could survive living in the US for a year on my own. I have never experienced being genuinely independent and grown-up (finally! ha! ha! ha!).

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
PGMA. Tongressmen.

Where did most of your money go?
House rent, car, insurance, winter clothes... i gotta stop now.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Running! Long drive! Touching base with friends from all over!

What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
Can't think of one song in particular.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? -- I've gained 8 pounds since I arrived here. Now, how come i could still fit into my old clothes?
iii. richer or poorer? -- A little better off, surely, but none the richer.

What do you wish you'd done more?
1. Exercise
2. Yoga
3. Visit another foreign country. The US is so vast it felt like you were visiitng another country when you just flew to another state.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
1. Thinking about how some things should/would/could have been.
2. Procrastinating (bad, bad habit).

How many one-night stands?
None. I'd rather be bored. lol.

What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

What was the best book you read?
Books, actually - The Tipping Point and Blink by Malcolm Gladwell.

I think it is quite a feat to be able to translate dreary social and psychological studies into something one can actually enjoy reading and learning at the same.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Celtic Woman. I have never heard voices so pure and so enchanting. Theirs is what an angel's voice probably sounds like.

What did you want and get?
A car - first thing that came to my mind.

What was your favorite film of this year?
Nothing comes to mind right now.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Work. Dinner with friends. 31!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I would have given the world to spend year-end holidays with my family back home.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
I think I struggled on this score. lol. I've never felt more ignorant in fashion than when fall and winter came - almost no idea how to properly layer clothes. Nada. Zilch.

What kept you sane?
1. Driving alone, sometimes even when I didn't know where I wanted to go.
2. Just being silent, listening.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
1. Jamie Oliver.
2. Anthony Bourdain.
3. Ian Wright.

What political issue stirred you the most?
It was a conscious effort on my part to avoid anything that involves Philippine politics or else I'd get sick to my stomach.

Who did you miss?
A lot of people.

Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone to whom i got introduced.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Being independent in the truest sense of the word.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
1. That i don't look my age. I was almost always mistaken for a new associate! Babaw :)
2. I write well.

The most touching experience you've had this year?
I'd rather keep this one to myself. But just so I would not forget, it was something that happened in June 2006. And I was so stupid I didn't know how to reciprocate the kindness.

What did you like most about yourself this year?
I am brave.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
Procrastination.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I can't think of any right now.

Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes. But it could be better.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
The first time I ran ten miles.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Going to the doctor alone.

Where were you when 2006 began?
In Stockton.

Who were you with?
Mommy Lina, and other relatives.

Where were you when 2006 ended?
In Antioch.

Who were you be with when 2006 ended?
With JP and Tina and their friends.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
Just for me to get better.

What was your favorite month of 2006?
July 2006.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
No.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I miss a lot of people!

What was your favorite record from 2006?
Quite surprisingly, Celtic Woman.

How many concerts did you see in 2006?
None.

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
A little.

Do a lot of drugs in 2006?
Never.

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I've learned from it the hard way but I won't elaborate. I just hope I will not be so stupid as to be in that situation again.

How much money did you spend in 2006?
Next question, please.

What was your proudest moment of 2006?
1. Getting a driver's license in California.
2. Driving on the freeway for the first time!

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
Spilling steaming extra hot vanilla latte in the leather seat of a BMW Z3. It was my first day to car pool with a male intern who offered to give me a ride to and from work. 'Twas a good thing he was totally unruffled about the whole incident. A real gentleman, I should say.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
I am one of the most gullible persons around, but then when it comes to handling relationships, I think I am irredeemably predisposed to skepticism. Having said that, I wish I believed more, reciprocated more…blah blah blah…

What are your plans for 2007?
1. Pass the California CPA exams.
2. Visit more states. roadtrip can be fun.
3. Travel to a foreign country, possibly with a good man (Oops! did I just say that?!)
4. Get involved in a new hobby (cooking/baking class, photography, yoga)
5. Those three should keep me pretty busy the whole year, thank you.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I have:
1. learned to rely and depend on myself more - quite possibly one of the things living in the US has taught me well
2. paid more attention to people who matter (yup, absence surely makes the heart grow fonder)
3. appreciated the peace ang happiness that comes with being and doing things by myself.

What are your wishes for the new year?
World peace. Seriously. :)

Wanting to cross Borders

I am in the final strech of Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point. Before that, I heroically (yes, heroically!) finished Sophie's World. FYI Bloggie, these are rereads. And yes, my CDs are screaming for new company. This is bad.

*-*-*

It's just horrible to think that I haven't been to Borders for months now. The only upside to this sorry revelation is that there's gonna be a lot of new stuff waiting for me. I don't think I will be disappointed. Not by a long shot.

*-*-*

Not Too Late by Norah Jones
The album will come out in January 2007 yet. Nothing can be better than knowing that this upcoming release contains 13 all-original compositions, either by the Norah herself or in collaboration with her fellow bandmates.

I've heard Rosie's Lullaby and Thinking About You. Thankfully, the voice, fragile and powerful at the same time, is still there. Really, everything in the world is gonna be all right.

The Beatles Love

When I think of how I ended up being a fan of arguably the most influential band on earth, I can't help but go back to the days when, as a kid, I kept on hearing my male cousins playing nothing but Beatles songs on their cassette player each and every day. Actually, it was not a 'cassette player', it was something they made from scratch, with the 'cassette tape' more like a white, unmarked VHS tape, only smaller. Whatever. I remember finding myself humming Beatles songs going home from their place where Ria, their sister, was my childhood frienemy.

I was, and still am, a closet fan. I have buried my love for the band in the deepest recesses of my mental closet. But every time I hear their songs, I want to stop what I am doing, go to the store and buy their album.




Celtic Woman A Christmas Celebration Deluxe Edition
I was mindlessly flipping through the channels when I heard melodies which struck me as the closest approximation of angels singing high up in the heavens. KQED was airing Celtic Woman: A new Journey and the owners of the wonderful voices were six, err five because the sixth one was a fabulous violinist, fine Irish ladies. They were performing at a castle in Ireland, quite a fitting venue for the exceptional voice they possess.

The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain

He is everything you wouldn't imagine a chef to be but in my book, he is cool. Period. I liked him instantly on A Cook's Tour and No Reservations. I fell for him after reading Kitchen Confidential and A Cook's Tour.

He is prone to dishing out profanity in his shows, he is an unrepentant smoker, he has done drugs, he eats anything - and I mean anything - in search of, well, a perfect meal. If the accounts in his books are any indication, man, he's been through hell and back many times over. This same devil-may-care attitude does the trick for me. How many men - and a chef at that! - manage to be bad without even trying and get away with it?

The Innocent Man by John Grisham

It might be borne out of my childhood dream of becoming a lawyer, but eversince I got hold of The Firm, I always found myself waiting for John Grisham's new novel. One marvels at how he always managed to translate labyrinthine legal jargon into something layman, something that would not make you want to keel over from boredom.

According to the flap, The Innocent Man is his first attempt at nonfiction work. I guess that is reason enough for me to get a hold of this book soon!

Found out about me

There is this scene in Runaway Bride where Ike (Richard Gere) was accusing Maggie (Julia Roberts) of not even knowing how she wanted her eggs done. I was dumbstruck. If I were in Maggie's shoes, I would have had exactly the same reaction. Is there something wrong with her? Or me, for that matter?

After weeks of car pooling and stopping by Starbucks to get our daily coffee fix, my friend couldn't help but ask why I chose different types of hot coffee every so often. It just puzzled him why I couldn't choose vanilla latte and stick with it. Is there something wrong with me?

I listen to almost all types of music. I am equally comfortable with Ella, Billie, Norah, Adam, Sergio, John, Rob, Enya, Ne-Yo…I could go on and on. Now, my friends here got more than a peek of my eclectic taste in music when they rode with me in my car. They wondered aloud how I could fully appreciate each genre. But I truly could. Is there something wrong with me?

There are other things. Like food! I couldn't convince anyone that I only liked Japanese food if it would save my life. They knew that I was always on when it came to trying out cuisines from, well, wherever. Is there something wrong with me?

Is it weird - or worse, wrong - not to have just one specific preference when it comes to food or music or coffee? Is this some kind of a psychological dysfunction which manifests itself in my ever-shifting taste in practically everything? One friend went as far as saying that that was probably the reason why I couldn't make a relationship work. Ouch.

You tell me, Bloggie.

You see, my sense of achieving 'normalcy' is rooted on my want to discover, experience or taste what the world has to offer. Very high sounding, yes, but that is the only way I can explain it.

Like the famed Mt Everest climbers always say: It is there. Go figure.

A record-breaking run

It's been a while.

I could have written about a lot of things that happened to me. I did not because I was always procrastinating, too lazy to memorialize the happy, crazy, mundane, frightening, sappy and heartbreaking events that characterized the weeks past.

The event yesterday proved to be too happy to store in my memory bank. I may not know myself very well but I admit to being inveterately forgetful.

So here's one exhilirating news: I ran for 10 miles for two hours. That's all of 16 kilometers, do you hear me, Bloggie?

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could do it.

My body is so sore today but I don't care one bit. The soreness is completely oblitirated by the fact that I feel really, really good.

I was glad Deth never tired of convincing me.

Deth and a couple of other friends have been preparing for the 13-mile 'fun' run on October 8 since two months back. After running out of excuses, I finally gave in to her invitation to practice with them. I warned them - and they knew - that I only did 4 miles max on the treadmill or the elliptical twice or thrice a week if I my schedule allowed it. Roughly, 4 miles on the machines always took me all of 40 minutes to accomplish. I fully understood my physical limitations. Or so I thought.

*****

The trail in Los Gatos was so nice. I was so taken by the peaceful lake lining the whole trail that I never cared if I was always at the tail end of the pack. It also helped that each runner I passed by - and boy, do they have floorboard abs! - never failed to greet you with a smile.

I never knew how I ended up finishing the first 5 miles ahead of everyone else. Deth said I did so well. I downplayed it by saying I was just lucky not having torn a ligament in my body. She thought I was being funny when I said we should have parked our cars near the 5-mile junction so we could go home if we decided we couldn't last another mile, much less go back 5 miles where we came from. I managed a nervous laugh.

So we headed back and proceeded to run at our own pace. After a while, and noticing that not one of my friends was within sight, I thought I was lost. It got me worried, moreso because of the fact that I was getting to be a legend hereabouts for having little or no sense of direction. This incident would surely nail it. But what could I do? There were just these junctions that confused me. I didn't bring my handphone. Worse, the trail would simply not allow any motor vehicle as it was too narrow. As a last resort, I thought of hitching a ride with a biker. Saying I was frightened was an understatement.

But I kept on running. Someone up there must have been leading the way - literally! - because everytime I thought of hounding a hapless biker, I would recognize landmarks that kept me believing I was on the right track.

After what seeemed like an eternity, I recognized the red line on the road, and the playground a few yards ahead. I made it. I was even more relieved to realize that I was not lost after all.

After a few minutes, my friends started arriving. It turned out I was the first one to finish. Deth said I probably clocked in a total of two hours.

They had to say that they were a bit concerned I got lost on my way back. They are really getting to know me very well.

*****

Maybe it's true what some friends say. I tend to underestimate my capabilities.

Happy, happy once again

Hey there, Bloggie!

I just got home, but I guess I have to get to you and tell you some lip-smacking great news.

My 'restatement' team in Big Four garnered a "Local Chairman's Award". Honestly, I wasn't aware of it until my teammate IM'ed me about it.

Just so you know, administrative emails in my Inbox doesn't excite me. This is why I always find myself on the brink of missing deadlines, e.g., timesheets, PFFs, self-assessment forms...cr*ppy stuff. (Just recently, I found out that these things are in fact crucial in assessing bonuses!). Always just in time. No more, no less. Hmm...I'm lost in my own story. =)

Back to the story. So. I read the email. It said our 'excellent' job could be nominated for the "National Chairman's Award". But I was interested in something more tangible. As if reading my mind, the same teammate informed me a few hours after that we would be getting $500 each. That was the tangible I was talking about. Nice. But then, if I factored in the hours I worked overtime, and I guess this goes for the other seniors in the team, then that $500 is miniscule at the least.

But then again, it is better than nothing. And I am grateful. It is enough to cover monthly rent, gas and utilities. Or the cost of my plane fare for a much-needed vacay in July. Yipee!

P.S I got my car plates today. Yipee!

New things here and there

Everything new is good.

A week before, I got myself a new car. I call him Bugsy. He is as close as I can get to having a boyfriend. He knows what type of music I like. He knows where I get my favorite food. He takes me wherever I want to go. He is everywhere I am. I don't want him out of my sight that sometimes, I have this urge to just leave everyhting behind and be with him to wherever. What's more, as long as you feed him, he never loses his cool. But I'm sorta getting the hint that Bugsy wants me to get a Magellan navigator, so I am seriously considering that option now. I cannot rely on Mapquest or Yahoo forever for directions. (That's why I hate it when friends change plans and I don't have someone with me in the car. I mean, what route do I take then? How many times do I have to tell them that I suck at directions?)

Today, I am sitting on my bed in my super comfy silk pj's and totally at peace with the world. How can I not be? Everywhere I look is new - bedsheets, quilt cover, pillowcases. Heck, I am literally on page one of the new novel I am reading!

What makes me even more pleased is the fact that my bathroom looks and smells absolutely good! Right after the mass and some great food courtesy of some great friends, I begged Jean to accompany me to the mall to buy some things for my bathroom. (Absent other friends, he is my trusty navigator). It's spring and I thought I needed to brighten it up a bit. Ta-da! I have this funky shower curtains in spring colors. It jazzed things up -including my mood - in a flash. Of course I put on the brakes and chose neutral shades for towels, rugs, toilet seat cover and whatnot. And this is a no-brainer: I could forget everything but a new stash of my favorite bath items. Gosh, I couldn't wait to take a bath again! :)

What tops it all off is my new digicam. Yes Bloggie, I finally got myself one after much thought (read: I was hoping for it to go on sale). The digicam I was dying to buy went on sale today, what do you know? The angels must have been be smiling at me, huh?

So yeah. This has been one fine day.





p.s.

lemme correct that, bloggie. today has been one super happy day! i think i deserve it. and i'll let you in on a secret. i was informed by cel that our 'hot skills bonus' are in. lo and behold, it was indeed in my account already. can someone wipe the grin off my face? i just cannot stop myself from smiling.